maybe I’m not ready for this whole mom thing

So, today, or more specifically, this afternoon did not go according to plan. The plan was to come home, start dinner, grab Miles, run to the store and then hit the Children’s Museum with friends.

I came home and totally forgot to start dinner, packed up Miles and headed to the store. Then I remembered about this park I wanted to take Miles to, so we did that. Then I remembered that whole dinner thing so we abandoned our shopping trip and went home to make dinner.

To keep Miles occupied I gave him some containers and a spatula to play with and started assembling dinner (my version of 8 can taco soup).  While I was opening all my cans, Miles grabbed a ladle out of the drawer (yeah he can reach those now) and then started scooping cat food from the bag onto the floor. I’m still assembling dinner and now Miles is ladling water from the cats water bowl. Ok, fine, whatever, he’s busy.

As I’m pulling apart the rotisserie chicken for the soup I see Miles pick up the water bowl (a large Corelle cereal bowl) and then unceremoniously DROPS. IT. ON. THE. FLOOR. It shattered. EVERYWHERE. I scoop him up, grateful that he was still wearing his shoes, and go back to shredding chicken.

After I finish and set the crock pot I empty the pack’n play of toys and then toss him in and listen to him cry. I snap a pic of the disaster, text my husband, sister and girlfriend. She asks if I need help and I start crying and text back a yes.

Enter mini Mommy meltdown. I contemplated just sitting on the floor in the kitchen until the cavalry arrives, but I compose myself and start to clean up while Miles tries to escape from the pack’n play. She arrives and then we clean up and hang out for a while.

But before she got there and Miles was crying and I was just staring at the mess on the floor I totally thought, “maybe I’m not ready for this whole mom thing.” It was fleeting and brief, but I still had it, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. So, in case you are having a crappy Wednesday, just so you know, you aren’t alone. It gets better and sometimes you have to call in the reinforcements and support and not feel bad about it.